What Your Husband SHOULD do

Think of the things that your husband should do. How should he hold the baby? How should he act towards you when you’re upset? How should he approach your finances?

I bet you know what he should do for all of the above. I also bet that he does not do things exactly the way you would like him to.

Think of the last time you got annoyed/frustrated at any one (it could be your husband). What was the reason? 99% of the time it comes down to us believing that the other person should have behaved differently than they did. 

This is because we have a rulebook with clear instructions for how others (especially our spouses) should act.

• He should tell me he loves me. 

• He should take out the trash. 

• He shouldn’t be on his phone when holding the baby.

When he doesn’t do what is in our rulebook, he clearly is not acting in line with how a husband should behave. The funny thing is, we don’t communicate this rulebook with others. It is as if it is an absolute truth in our mind, and so others should obviously be using the same instructions. This is simply not true. This is what causes us so much frustration and pain.

We think others should act in a certain way. We also think they should also know this somehow. When we dig deep enough, we also find that we want others to act differently so that ultimately we will feel better or that it will somehow affect us emotionally. 

When he tells me he loves me, I feel confident in the relationship

The truth is, what others do or say has no affect on us emotionally. By thinking that it does, we tie our emotional happiness to another, and give them the power to control our emotional life. 

When you understand that others can be and act in any way they choose, and you can choose to interpret that behavior in any way you choose, you gain the power back of your own emotional life. 

I  don’t need my husband to tell me he loves me to feel confident in our relationship.

That little shift in perspective has a tremendous impact. When we truly understand that we are the only ones responsible for our own feelings, the opportunities are endless. Others can literally say and do whatever they want, and we can decide how we want to feel (or not feel) about it. 

Want to take this further? Book a FREE introductory session with me.