How to be Confident

We tend to think that confidence is a destination, that it is something we will attain once we reach a certain goal. A lot of us also think that confidence is something you are born with, and cannot be learned. 

I used to think that when I lost my baby weight I would be confident wearing jeans. I also used to think that I was just innately self conscious. 

The funny thing about confidence is that we create it with our minds. Confidence is a feeling, and feelings are constructed by the thoughts we have in our minds and NOT something external (a slimmer body, a degree etc). If confidence is created by thoughts in our minds, we could actually think thoughts on purpose to make us feel confident. We could learn to believe new thoughts that actually cultivate confidence. 

But how do you believe new thoughts that make you feel confident when you’ve spent your whole life putting yourself down? How can you be confident that you will work out when your  baby naps tomorrow, when you usually sleep instead of working out during nap time?

The key is in building integrity with yourself. In order to have confidence in yourself you need to trust IN yourself, and trust yourself. You need to trust in your ability to learn what is needed in order to get something done, but also trust yourself to actually honor your commitment to yourself in order to do it. When you truly trust in yourself and trust yourself, you will feel confident even in the face of something you’ve never done before/

This is very different from saying you will do something while still having that small part of you that doubts you will be able to. This is self doubt, which is the total opposite of self confidence!

So the next time you decide to do something, go ahead and do it ! Honor your commitment to yourself, and your brain will find more evidence for why you should feel confident. 

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